Collage curtesy of MYNA MORAMENTO RAFI

Si j’avais au moins… (If I only had … ) is a song # 10 from Mylène Farmer’s seventh studio album Point de suture released digitally on 20 August 2008.

The lyrics of the song Si j’avais au moins… were written by Mylène Farmer. The music for this ballad was composed by Laurent Boutonnat. The whole song is just breath-taking: the use of instruments is so skillful. The strings, guitars and flutes create an unforgettable magical and vulnerable melody where Mylene’s sweet voice fits like a diamond to its setting.

A song on the theme of a loss already discussed in other titles such as Laisse le vent emporter tout (1995) or Pas le temps de vivre (1999).

And what a beautiful song that is. I would definitely include into the top 10 ballads by Mylene. Hmm…maybe I should create the poll for that? What a great idea! Stay tuned…

Si j’avais au moins… becomes the third single (excluding live singles) from Mylène not to benefit from any official remix, after L’histoire d’une fée, c’est… (2001) and Redonne-moi (2006).

With that being said, there are always – thanks to you, dear fans, a good number of unofficial remixes and some of them are just splendid!

On December 15, 2008 Si j’avais au moins… was chosen to become the third single from the album Point de Suture. Who remembers the first two?

The broadcast of a radio edit version of 04’10 (compared to the album version, removal of the chorus before the bridge) begins the same day. It is a surprise for fans who were not expecting this choice which is reminiscent of the release of the title Redonne-moi

as the third single from the previous album, Avant que l’ombre… There were polls carried out on various sites or fan forums concerning the best choice for a third single, this title always came last. So it shows how sometimes the songs lowest by its initial popularity rise overtime and become classics. I certainly see it very often and I feel like those under-rates songs are the true jewels.

This decision for this ballad highlights a real artistic approach favored over a more commercial or more obvious strategy. And how refreshing it is! I love how she continues the same theme of the L’autre…this time she/he is beyond the boundaries of life: “l’autre dit je meurs”

On January 15, 2009 two supports (a single cd and a maxi 45 rpm) are announced for February 09. Finally, the release will be postponed until February 16.

The cover of the single was shown first time on January 27 2009, with a 2008 photo by John Nollet (under the nickname Simon Hawk).

This is the first time that the same photoshoot has been used to illustrate three successive singles of Mylène: Degeneration and Appelle mon numero

Release on February 16, 2009 Si j’avais au moins… goes directly to the first place of the French top singles with more than 12,000 copies in the first week (more than double compared to the second in the ranking). An excellent start, especially since this title is only offered in two media, including a very limited one. This is the seventh single from Mylène which obtains such a ranking, the singer then beating her own record obtained a few months earlier with Appelle mon numero since no other French or international artist has managed to place more than five titles in the lead. top singles.

It will then drop quite quickly, little helped by rare radio broadcasts (it does not exceed 60th place in radio airplay in France). There will ultimately be around 30,000 copies in France.

The second time the song is included to the album is to the best-of album of Mylène, 2001.2011. Si j’avais au moins… is also part of the Histoires De, released on December 04, 2020.

Let’s talk about the clip!

On December 18, 2008, the name of the director of the clip was revealed. This is Bruno Aveillan who has already directed the video Degeneration (and will later direct Stolen car). We learn that the shooting of the two clips took place over the same period, in June 2008, in Prague.

On December 22, 2008, an official press release states that the clip Si j’avais au moins… actually fits into a movie, The Farmer Project.

“On Friday January 16, 2009, between 12:30 am and 12:50 am, M6 will exclusively broadcast the film inspired by Mylène Farmer’s album “Point de Suture” on the occasion of the release of his latest single Si j’avais au moins…”

As a preamble to the concerts on September 11 and 12, 2009 at the Stade de France, the star wished to reserve for M6 viewers the “THE FARMER PROJECT” program-event directed by Bruno Aveillan.

“Returning to its precursor film clips such as “Libertine” or “Pourvu qu’elles soient douces”, THE FARMER PROJECT is a film including the clips “Degeneration” and “Si j’avais au moins…”, real short films designed for to become one. They will be completed by a making of made during the 7 days of this shoot.”

The videos are definitely in the same style and do go well together. If the first one is more about the power over people and their emotions, the second one is a music to the ears of all animal lovers (present compony included). It always has been heartbreaking to know about the animal testing and lab research which often kill those innocent creatures. When I found out about Volkswagen cruel testing on chimpanzees, I can’t even look towards their automobiles – unimaginable cruelty!  I am happy to see that Mylene takes another stand and declares her love for all the creatures in such a poetic way. Can’t help but fall in love with her for that.

On January 07, 2009, first broadcasts on TV and on the Internet of the clip Si j’avais au moins…”, which is the continuation of the clip Degeneration. See below:

Despite its unusual length for music channels (05’30), the reception is favorable, the clip being quickly regularly broadcast on W9, Virgin 17, MCM, MTV Idol. NRJ Hits chooses it as an event clip. On M6, which had been more than cautious in the diffusion of the two previous singles’ clips of Mylène, Si j’avais au moins…”, became clip of the clips for its first week of diffusion.

On January 9, 2009, exclusively broadcast on the website allocine short film The Farmer Project. Big buzz the previous days, the site having put the film online too early, by mistake and for a few hours. That must be exciting for the fans!!

According to Lionel Steketee, “Mylène was very professional, thorough, discreet and almost shy” when she participated in the shooting of the video.

He said she had to be careful not to get scratched by the cat, and that the final scene was difficult to film because the cats were afraid of the water used in this scene, the rats remained hidden in a corner and the birds did not fly much. Given that the song deals with the pain caused by the absence of a diseased person, the video is unrelated to the lyrics, as noted by author Alice Novak. In reviews, Yahoo! Music said that, through the video, “[Farmer] invites us into her dark and magical universe”, and Premiere deemed it “mysterious, provocative”. Considering it a short film, Cachin praised the music video as being “perfectly done”.

The music video for “Si j’avais au moins…” used many special effects which show Farmer’s supernatural powers to heal and release the animals. The special effects are definitely from teh same realm as the Degeneration

Also the gorgeous photos we are seeing are from the photoshoot Bruno Aveillan in 2011: Mylène photography for the magazine Citizen K in the setting of the chateau believed to belong to Laurent Boutonnat and his companion Ilona Orel. The photos are gorgeous…

About Bruno Aveillan

He was born in Toulouse on February 24,1968 is a French director, photographer and multimedia artist.

A graduate of the École supérieure des Beaux-Arts in Toulouse, Bruno Aveillan joined the production company QUAD as a director. He has notably directed numerous advertising films for brands such as Orange, Perrier, Louis Vuitton, Audi, Nike, Paco Rabanne, Quézac, Lanvin, Nissan, Rochas, Lexus, Escada, SFR, Chanel, Time Warner, Volvo, Maxmara, Miller, Nintendo, Coca-Cola, Gaz de France, Toyota, Peugeot, etc.

In 1997 he directed the Perrier spot “La fête” which received numerous international awards and was elected “Favorite film of the French” following an IPSOS / Strategy survey.

In 1999, succeeding directors Lars von Trier and Roland Joffé, Bruno Aveillan directed a new episode of the CNP advertising saga, “The tree”.

In 2000, he was the director of the film for the launch of the Oxygène perfume by Lanvin.

In 2001, he directed several films for the Thermasilk brand for which he developed particularly dreamlike and poetic universes.

He then directed the film Anthem for the brand “Nissan-Infinity” which was premiered at the 2002 Oscars ceremony. The same year, he signed one of the four launch films for the Orange brand, alongside the directors Martin Scorcese and Oliver Stone.

In 2008, Louis Vuitton called on Bruno Aveillan to make the first advertising film in its history, entitled “Where will life take you” This film, which evokes with emotion “the soul of travel” has won numerous awards including a Gold Clio Award, a Gold Award at the London International Awards, an Epica Award, a Crystal.

In 2010, he carried out a campaign for Shangri-La, for which he signed the films and photos, campaign which received numerous awards.

In 2011, Swarovski offered Bruno Aveillan an artistic collaboration through the production of a poetic film of several minutes, symbolizing the heritage and aura of the brand.

In 2012, Bruno Aveillan directed the film “The Odyssey of Cartier”.

At the same time, Bruno Aveillan also offers experimental films, particularly around dance or the body and photographs. His creations have been regularly exhibited around the world.

In 2015, he and Mylene Sting photography for the cover of the single Stolen Car. In 2015, he directed the clip Stolen Car.

On January 17, 2009, Mylène performed Si j’avais au moins…”, during the “NRJ Music Awards 2009” on TF1. She looks stunning as she is announcing her Touree later on the year

No TV or radio advertising for this single, nor any relaunch of the advertising campaign for the Point de Suture album on television.

“So as not to be unpleasant, we will do without commenting It’s in the air to look directly at the last title, Si j’avais au moins…”, melancholy song, which will undoubtedly give Mylène Farmer the opportunity to shed a little tear on stage. She does it so well.” ( – 08/21/2008)

“Finally, it is with the last two songs of the album that the redhead scores the most points. Si j’avais au moins…”, is a magnificent misty ballad whereas Looking for my name could claim the title of next single.” (Le Matin – 08/24/2008)

“Si j’avais au moins…”, despite the undeniable strength already resonating throughout this album (by ousting Sextonik), Mylène Farmer will have reserved a breathtaking final for us on the last two titles. Let’s not be afraid of words: with soft and beautiful music, a fragile voice, a sincere and desperate text (which strangely makes one think of the tragic end of Eurydice and Orpheus), Si j’avais au moins…, is undoubtedly the best song in the singer’s entire repertoire. Sensitive, sober, acoustic, poignant (we think back to Dernier Sourire), on a razor’s edge; a pure marvel that alone would deserve the purchase of this unique album. Magnificent conclusion, on a very beautiful solo on the guitar. ” ( – 08/24/2008)

“The album offers the usual count of collective mantras (C’est dans l’air) and confessions to share with his fans (Je m’ennuie, Si j’avais au moins…). ” ( – 08/25/2008)

“Another part of the album is a dreamy and languid ballad on the themes of waiting, from the vague to the soul (Stitch), absence, disappearance (Si j’avais au moins…), in a light-dark universe. Here too we find the mark of the duo (Mylène and Laurent Boutonnat, editor’s note) in the fundamentals, but with the feeling of collages of ideas already heard in previous compositions. ” (Le monde – 08/27/2008)

“As for the rhythms, we are divided between up-tempo tracks (catchy, if you will) and ballads with a strong lacrimal connotation. Si j’avais au moins… is the prototype of the track to make the crowd tumble, as we say at home … And we are ready to bet that Mrs. Farmer herself, when she interprets it on stage will not fail to shed her little tear.” (La Meuse – 08/27/2008)

“And what about If I had at least … which closes the album the” melancholic ballad “which sluggishly closes this seventh studio recording with a little tears, a more sex, a little blood and 100% Boutonnat playing with his laptop?” (Var Matin – 09/05/2008) haha! Aren’t they funny?

“The general title, Point de suture, is also that of one of the ten songs of the disc (without counting the improbable Ave Maria as a bonus). these aerial ballads with melancholy-sensual accents of which the incandescent redhead has the secret. Si j’avais au moins… adds the softness. ” (The Telegram – 09/11/2008)

TOUR 2009

Si j’avais au moins… was performed during the indoor concerts of the Tour 2009 for the final of the show from May 02 to July 01, 2009. Arrangements for the stage: Laurent Boutonnat.

The title is however removed from the setlist of concerts in stadiums of the Tour 2009 (the final then being on Désenchantée).

The staging of the final of the concerts on Si j’avais au moins… was inspired by a photo of Gustave Doré that Laurent Boutonnat showed to Alain Escalle, the creator of the stage images of the show. This is an illustration of Dante’s work, The Divine Comedy, more precisely of its first part (cantica), L’Enfer et du chant (canto) X.



lyrics with translation

Qui n'a connu
Douleur immense
N'aura qu'un aperçu
Du temps
L'aiguille lente
Qu'il neige ou vente
Souligne ton absence

Qui n'a connu
L'instable règne
Qui n'a perdu
Ne sait la peine
Plus de réserve, du tout
Ni dieu, ni haine, s'en fout
Plus de superbe, j'ai tout
D'une peine...
Un enténèbrement

Tous mes démons
Les plus hostiles
Brisent des voix
Les plus fragiles
De tous mes anges
Les plus devoués
Et moi l'étrange paumée
Fiancée à l'enténèbrement...

Si j'avais au moins
Revu ton visage
Entrevu au loin
Le moindre nuage
Mais c'est à ceux
Qui se lèvent
Qu'on somme « d'espoir »
Dont on dit qu'ils saignent
Sans un aurevoir, de croire
Et moi pourquoi j'existe
Quand l'autre dit je meurs
Pourquoi plus rien n'agite
Ton cœur...

Who has not known
Immense pain
Will have only a glimpse
Of time
The slow needle
Whether it snows or sells
The omnipresent
Emphasizes your absence

Who has not known
The unstable reign
Who has not lost
Does not know the pain
No more reserve, at all
Neither God, nor hate, doesn't care
No longer superb, I have everything
Of a pain...
A darkness

All my demons
The most hostile
Break the voices
The most fragile
Of all my angels
The most devoted
And I the strange lost one
Betrothed to darkness...

If I at least
Seen your face again
Glimpsed in the distance
The slightest cloud
But it is to those
Who rise up
Who are summoned of hope
Whom we say are bleeding
Without a goodbye, to believe
And why I exist
When the other says I die
Why does nothing moves
Your heart...

The page last edited July 27, 2022

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