À QUOI JE SERS…

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy.
I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted and behold, service IS joy.”
Rabindranath Tagore

À quoi je sers… (what am I good for…) is a song not appearing on any studio album by Mylène Farmer. It was released as a single on July 17, 1989 with a second unreleased track on the B side, La veuve noire.

The lyrics of the song “À quoi je sers…” were written by Mylène Farmer, and the music was composed by Laurent Boutonnat. There is a curious link between the lyrics of this song and “TU NE LE DIS PAS“. It’s no accident that I selected this song closer to the completion of this project. I think it summarizes beautifully what Mylène is all about. By now, we understand whom she serves, and even better, what she is good for. Very few people still have doubts about her worth. I certainly hope this journey has been enlightening for Mylène herself. I can only add that I feel extremely fortunate that a young girl named Mylène once decided to explore her purpose and created a beautiful world where we have felt at home for so many years. It is my home away from my ultimate astral home. Until I cross the river Styx, she remains my earthly soul family. I pray we’ll reunite in a heartfelt crowd in less than two years during her “NEVERMORE” tour. [2023 edit: Yes, we did, and it was a one-of-a-kind experience]!

And afterward, with God’s will, I hope we all find our Milky Way someday. 🧡
“Now I can hold my tongue, especially when all turns sour.”

As you can see now this song included into the newly released Polydor collection:

I’ve always been enchanted by this song. Its melody, punctuated by a breathtaking guitar solo, is as captivating as its lyrics. It resonates deeply within me. Have you observed the way Mylene employs the “…” at the end of the song title? Intriguingly, I find myself doing the same thing frequently. Often, when words fail to capture the depth of our emotions, the ellipsis speaks volumes.

Strikingly, the song brings to mind the recent “Voie lactée” track from “Interstellaires.”

It’s fascinating to witness Mylene revisiting and reimagining motifs from her earlier works. For instance, the progression from “AVANT QUE L’OMBRE” to “A L’OMBRE…” reveals a recurring theme, a story unfolding.

The lyrics, laden with introspection and self-doubt, were penned by Mylène during the fledgling days of her career. The intense and unexpected bond she formed with her audience took her by surprise.

“I composed it shortly after the beginning of the Palais des sports show (in May 1989, to be precise). It stemmed from a personal introspection: expressing aloud the silent screams held within.” (Mylène Farmer – Télé 7 Jours – 11/27/1989)

It’s evident that issues of self-worth have shadowed Mylene throughout her life, likely tracing back to her formative years. I deeply relate to this sentiment, as it mirrors my own lifelong journey. Channeling self-worth into artistic expression is arguably one of the most therapeutic endeavors. Recognizing and reconciling with the profound impact one has on the public isn’t a walk in the park. As the saying goes, “With great power comes great responsibility.” But, hey, no pressure, right? 😊

“It was overwhelming. Young souls, often grappling with deep-seated taboos seeking comprehension… And I find myself echoing Brel’s sentiments: ‘No Jeff, you’re not on your own.’ Without being presumptuous, I’ve come to realize this is my purpose. Furthermore, there’s no shame in embracing sexuality. Everything is natural when it comes to love. I never envisioned myself as an artist who would elevate and captivate an audience in this manner.” (Mylène Farmer – France Evening – 12/07/1989)

This piece was thought to have been penned in June, following the conclusion of the initial leg of her tour. It came to fruition around the same time as “LA VEUVE NOIRE” “Black Widow”), in a rented villa close to Nice. The ambiance of the villa was often described as “enigmatic and ineffable.”

It’s easy to picture Mylène crafting these words, secluded in her dressing room, during moments that were likely tinged with emotion and vulnerability, after basking in the adoration of thousands for hours on end. How does one process that magnitude of love? How does one deem themselves deserving?

There are instances, almost heart-wrenchingly raw, when an artist is confronted by her own fate and the onslaught of doubts that inevitably follow.

“To be honest, I don’t believe I’m of use to anyone. To think otherwise would be pretentious on my part. I believe I can evoke emotion and unite people around it. However, seeing such passionate faces every night doesn’t truly comfort me. I’m constantly left wondering what my purpose is.” (Mylène Farmer – Hi – 04/10/1991)

Mylène’s songwriting was profoundly impacted by Luc Dietrich’s works, from which she borrowed the phrase “living dust” as the opening line for her song. The inspiration seems to stem from two lines in Dietrich’s poem The Learning of the City: “If I’m not useful, then there wasn’t much point in preventing me from dying.”

She was drawn to this author, probably because he “never lost the gaze of a child,” as his friend Lanza del Vasto aptly described him.

A sentiment from Dietrich, “And even if I managed to rise, for whom and for what purpose?” is mirrored in Mylène’s lyrics: “Every hour asks: For whom, for what purpose to rise?”

The introductory guitar riff, played by Slim Pezin, forms the musical foundation for the B-side of the single, the previously unreleased song, LA VEUVE NOIRE.

A remix of the song, titled “Club Remix”, was crafted by Laurent Boutonnat and Thierry Rogen.

In June 1989, following her debut stage appearance with her audience at the Palais des Sports in Paris, Mylène re-entered the studio with Laurent Boutonnat to record two fresh tracks, À QUOI JE SERS … and LA VEUVE NOIRE. Fans were pleasantly surprised to hear À QUOI JE SERS … on the radio in July, right after the last single from the album Ainsi soit je, titled SANS LOGIQUE.

Starting July 17, 1989, the song was made available in three formats: a 45-rpm record, a maxi CD (the early maxi CDs had cardboard sleeves, predating the crystal or digipak versions), and a maxi 45 rpm.

The cover photo, taken by Marianne Rosenstiehl, captures a candid moment in a dressing room post-concert, unbeknownst to Mylène.

“Marianne Rosenstiehl took it in my dressing room at the Palais des Sports… I absolutely adore it.” (Mylène Farmer – Télé Moustique – 12/10/1989)

The song peaked at 16th position in the French top 50 and sold approximately 120,000 copies. Its radio success was evident, as it reached the 2nd spot in French airplay charts by October.

On November 23, 1992, the “Remix Club” version of À QUOI JE SERS … was included in the Dance Remixes album.

Mylène’s inaugural best-of, titled LES MOTS, was launched on November 26, 2001. À QUOI JE SERS… featured in its original single version on the setlist, marking the first instance of the song being presented in an album in a non-remixed, non-live version.

An orange maxi 45 rpm record, as a limited edition, was released on February 8, 2019, exclusively through the Universal Music Store website.

The music video, directed by Laurent Boutonnat, seemingly signifies the conclusion of a significant period. It premiered in August 1989. In the video, Mylène revisits her cherished theme of Styx, and in partnership with Boutonnat, deeply explores it. This black-and-white video is laden with philosophical symbolism. The picturesque setting enhances its appeal. Despite it being a warm day during the shoot, everyone wore coats. Mylène, affected by seasickness, perhaps added to her melancholic demeanor in the video.

Concluding scenes showcase familiar faces from past videos wandering alongside the water. Likely, it’s Laurent’s nuanced way of reminding viewers of the legacy Mylène has crafted.

Mylène’s dance with the motif of the river Styx is among her maiden voyages into this profound abyss. The subject seeps deep into her soul, leaving a lasting impression. As legend has it, the Styx is the spectral river acting as the boundary between life’s vibrant pulse and the haunting stillness of the afterlife. This age-old tale has a magnetic pull, drawing Mylène into its enigmatic embrace. Here’s a tantalizing secret: The specter of death casts a long, cold shadow over Mylène’s heart. This inevitable end, lurking on the horizon, ensnares her creative spirit in a tight web, refusing to let go. As life unfurls its rich tapestry and the siren call of fame grows louder, the grip of mortality’s specter intensifies. With every accolade and applause, the weight of life’s fleeting nature bears down on her with even greater force.

Why does the darkened clock of death evoke such palpable dread, you might wonder? While the depths of this sentiment remain cloaked in mystery, a significant brush with death tugged at Mylène’s heartstrings in her formative teenage years. Fate, in its harshest form, snatched away her cherished grandmother, Jeanne. This formidable woman, who had been Mylène’s pillar and confidante, had enfolded her in warmth and love since her very first breath in Quebec in 1961.

From that pivotal moment, Mylène’s artistic tapestry has been interwoven with a morbid fascination and an intimate dance with death. Gravestones, skulls, funeral relics, and the spectral realm of the afterlife frequently grace her creations. Could it be a longing, a way to bridge the chasm between her and the cherished memories of Grandma Jeanne? Or perhaps it’s an embrace of the inevitable, a strategy to tip the scales against her lurking fears. With each passing chapter, Mylène delves deeper, finding communion with life’s shadowy corners.

Prior to embarking on her tour, Mylène made three television appearances during the beginning of the academic year.

There are almost cruel moments when the artist finds herself alone facing her destiny and all the doubts that may then emerge.

Mylène was strongly influenced by the reading of the work of Luc Dietrich who offers her the expression “living dust” which opens this song. It seems to be inspired by two lines of the poem The Learning of the city: “If I’m not useful, it wasn’t / The pain to keep me from dying.”

Fascinated by this author, undoubtedly because he “never lost his child’s eyes”, as his friend described Lanza del Vasto.

“And even if I managed to stand up, for what, for whom?”, We find at Dietrich. Words that the singer takes up in her own way: “Every hour asks / For whom, for what to stand up.”

The introductory guitar riff played by Slim Pezin serves as the musical basis for the B-side of the 45, the also unreleased song, La veuve noire.

A remix of the song, the “Club Remix” is created by Laurent Boutonnat and Thierry Rogen.

In June 1989, after her first meeting on stage with her audience at the Palais des Sports in Paris, Mylène returned to the studio with Laurent Boutonnat to record two new songs, À quoi je sers … and La veuve noire. Fans are surprised to discover What I serve … on radio in July after the end of the exploitation of the last single from the album Ainsi soit je, Sans logique.

Three media are available starting July 17, 1989: a 45 rpm, a maxi cd (the old maxi CDs were in cardboard sleeves, not yet in crystal or digipak cases) and a maxi 45 rpm.

Mylène Farmer À quoi je sers… 45 Tours  Mylène Farmer – À quoi je sers… – CD Maxi  Mylène Farmer – À quoi je sers… – Maxi 45 Tours

The photo of Marianne Rosenstiehl illustrating the supports was taken in a dressing room after a concert, without Mylène’s knowledge.

“Marianne Rosenstiehl took it from my dressing room at the Palais des Sports… I love it. ” (Mylène Farmer – Télé Moustique – 12/10/1989)

The title reached 16th place in the French top 50 and it will sell around 120,000 copies. It is also very successful in radio, reaching 2nd place in airplay in France in October.

On November 23, 1992, we find the “Remix Club” of À quoi je sers … on the Dance Remixes album

On November 26, 2001, Mylène’s first best-of was released, Les mots. The title À quoi je sers ... is present in the setlist in its single version. First time that we find the song (in a version not remixed, nor live) in an album.

On February 8, 2019, release of a maxi 45 rpm orange offered in a limited edition exclusively on the Universal Music Store website. The clip is directed by Laurent Boutonnat and seems to want to reflect the end of an era. It is broadcast from August 1989.

Mylene, of course, visits her favorite Styx theme and develops it greatly in collaboration with Boutonnat. This black and white clip is full of symbolism and philosophical to say the least. The clip is shot in picturesque manner. It was supposedly a pretty warm day but they all had to have coats on. Plus Mylene was seasick and perhaps, it contributed to her melancholy look.

In the end you can see all the memorable characters from the previous videos are walking along the water. I am sure its Laurent subtle ways to remind us what exactly she served to us…

Mylène performs À quoi je sers… three times on television in programs broadcast at the start of the school year, before leaving for her tour

For these three televised passages (recorded before Mylène left for Grenoble for the rehearsals of the second part of Tour 89), Mylène was accompanied on guitar by Slim Pezin (then guitarist on Tour 89). The musician told in an interview that it was Mylène who insisted that he is paid.

Mylène performed À quoi je sers … on the second part of Tour 89 from September 19 to December 8, 1989. The title is added to the setlist after Allan (Mylène keeps exactly the same costume to perform these two songs) Arrangements for the stage: Laurent Boutonnat and Bruno Fontaine.

In 1999, it was initially planned to integrate À quoi je sers … on the setlist of the Mylenium Tour but the title was discarded in favor of Rêver.

Over those two decades, both the world and Mylène underwent transformative changes. The singer, who once took the stage post-“Sans contrefaçon” in 1989 with designs by the now-late Thierry Mugler (you know him by his famous perfume Angel), had metamorphosed into an unmatched diva. Donning a striking red ensemble complete with a flowing red silk cape, her outfit was a masterpiece by her dear friend, Jean-Paul Gaultier, showcasing how far she had come.

The song was not included in the setlist for the stadium concerts of the 2009 Tour in September.

During her 2009 indoor tour, spanning from May 2 to June 22, fans were treated to a heartfelt revival as Mylène commemorated the 20th anniversary of “À QUOI JE SERS …” by performing it once again. However, as she lit up the stages of St. Petersburg and Moscow, she shifted gears, opting to serenade her Russian audience with “L’AMOUR EST RIEN …”, a melody that had always struck a chord with them.

The song has not been performed live since then.

For the two concerts in Russia in St Petersburg and Moscow, the song is discarded in favor of L’Amour est rien …, a huge hit in this country.

The song is not selected for the setlist of concerts in stadiums of the Tour 2009 in September.

reactions

Dereck! I personally disagree with most of what he said on this one (sorry, Dereck, ignorance is a bliss) Would be nice if you read this article 🙂

MY POETRY INSPIRED BY SONG

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lyrics with translation

Poussière vivante, je cherche en vain ma voie lactée
Dans ma tourmente, je n'ai trouvé qu'un mausolée
Et je divague
J'ai peur du vide
Je tourne des pages mais des pages vides
Poussière errante, je n'ai pas su me diriger
Chaque heure demande pour qui, pour quoi se redresser
Et je divague
J'ai peur du vide
Pourquoi ces larmes dis, à quoi bon vivre?
Mais mon Dieu de quoi j'ai l'air, je sers à rien du tout
Et qui peut dire dans cet enfer, ce qu'on attend de nous, j'avoue
Ne plus savoir à quoi je sers, sans doute à rien du tout
A présent je peux me taire, si tout devient dégout
Poussière brulante, la fièvre a eu raison de moi
Je ris sans rire, je vis, je fais n'importe quoi
Et je divague
J'ai peur du vide
Je tourne des pages mais des pages vides
Mais mon Dieu de quoi j'ai l'air, je sers à rien du tout
Et qui peut dire dans cet enfer, ce qu'on attend de nous, j'avoue
Ne plus savoir à quoi je sers, sans doute à rien du tout
A présent je peux me taire, si tout devient dégout
Mais mon Dieu de quoi j'ai l'air, je sers à rien du tout
Et qui peut dire dans cet enfer, ce qu'on attend de nous, j'avoue
Ne plus savoir à quoi je sers, sans doute à rien du tout
A présent je peux me taire, si tout devient dégout
Mais mon Dieu de quoi j'ai l'air, je sers à rien du tout
Et qui peut dire dans cet enfer, ce qu'on attend de nous, j'avoue
Ne plus savoir à quoi je sers, sans doute à rien du tout
A présent je peux me taire, si tout devient dégout

Living dust, I seek in vain my milky way
In my torment, I found only a mausoleum
And I ramble
I am afraid of the void
I turn pages but empty pages
Wandering dust, I did not know how to direct myself
Each hour asks for whom, for what to stand up
And I'm rambling
I am afraid of the void
Why these tears say, what is the point of living?
But my God, what do I look like, I'm useless at all
And who can say in this hell, what is expected of us, I confess
I don't know what I'm good for, probably nothing at all
Now I can keep quiet, if everything becomes disgusting
Burning dust, the fever got the best of me
I laugh without laughing, I live, I do anything
And I ramble
I am afraid of the void
I turn pages but empty pages
But my God, what do I look like, I'm useless at all
And who can tell in this hell, what is expected of us, I confess
I don't know what I'm good for, probably nothing at all
Now I can keep quiet, if everything becomes disgusting
But my God, what do I look like, I'm no good at all
And who can say in this hell, what is expected of us, I confess
I don't know what I'm good for, probably nothing at all
Now I can keep quiet, if everything becomes disgusting
But my God, what do I look like, I'm no good at all
And who can say in this hell, what is expected of us, I confess
I don't know what I'm good for, probably nothing at all
Now I can keep my mouth shut, if everything becomes disgusting